*Summer Emergency Exit

kenaaangaaaan TERINDAAAH (yeeeaaahh rigght!)

2007-07-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

heloooo. weeek 13 of schoool term is coming to an end. projeects yet after another project to another and many more. and week 15 is the DEADline. oohhh myyy! thaaat's a hassle don't you thinkk so? riiight. many many fun fun lepak with starbuckers. with ex coffee beanies. with schoool mates. annd my kakak finaaallly graduated fron NANYANG POLYTECHNIC.
i shall heed a friend's advice. do one at a time. hehe.

wooorking days get lesser. schooool time gets more. school is the most coooolest moment now. ALHAMDULILAH (praises to Allah) and YAYness for the Cs for 2 common test module. but an F for another. that's a sad fact of life though. oookk. let's look at a different angle. appreciation. friendship. and kindness. that affect some bits of my life. it makes me wonder why we are in denial in some angle. in denial to the conquest to the end of polytechnic. it makes me wonder why are we selfish with knowledge that God has given to us. the knowledge in the pathetic brain isn't yours. it comes from Him. and yet instead of helping each other. you bitch about him/her. it makes me even wonder why some takes friendship to a different level. some for the good. but some for the bad. what is the real definition of friendship. having just 1 friend is the BEST compared to a million? i totalllly agreee. keenaagaaan terindaaah. fix my puzzle if you wish. i'm living in my own bubble. don't burst my bubble pleeaasee.

God will open your eyes one day. i can't wait for the day you be left all alonneee.
i'm trying to be a healthy muslim and LIVE EARTH. save the environment!
love me or hate me. that's who i am. (:

WORRST theme park ride

2007-06-22T09:21:00.001-07:00

and soooo the plan was riiiight. i got up just in time to walk a mile to the mosque in thee hooot blistering burning weather. it was MAD MAD MAD weather at mid afternooon. inside the mosque was no difference. i could feeeel the heat with the thousands of other muslim men in there. anndd so i toook a cab to fetch cam and kay and then to faizah's home at Jalan Tenaga annd to Bishan.

i have a word to describe we 4, DUMB! ha-ha. there was a HUGE and GIGANTIC banner hang on the streets of Bishan for the Uncle Rinnggo admission time and fees but we had to PASS it (not realising it was in front of us) cross the interchange (and we had to put ff our cigarettes) walk another 3 miles just to check what time it is open for business. HAHAHA. it was 4 but it is operating 2 hours later. anndd we planned to tuck ourselves in with delicious foood from secret recipe (IT WAS A BAD BAD IDEA) while waiting. laaaaa laaa laaa ~

we sooooon realised how dumb we were after we saw the banner hanging proudly along the streets of Bishan. we spent ALOT for tickets. really lots! hahaha. it freaks the shit of me for the first ride. CHALLENGER. it gonna spin and spin up in the air and i could see the bloooooooooody traffic lights and cars just below me and i feel like im gonnnna bang into or something. ohh fuckk that was scary. it was like 10 storeys high. ohhh GOOOODD. Allah saved us! i could not feeel my butt on the chair. what if the safety gear just screwed up and it means............. HAHAHA

the woooooooorst!!!!!!! SKY RIDER. the aftermath. we almost puked the delicious food from secret receipe's. the world is spiining. faizah kept really mum for that moment. we were trying to walk in a straight line but we can't. DIZZZZY! they din warn us. anndd we flag a cab home.

i did mention not to take a silver cab. we almost got into a fight. urgh. silver cab!!! what a stuuupid cab.
here we are...

Plan number #ONE

2007-06-18T05:43:00.000-07:00

ookk. i was working opening. getting up at 7 was the most difficult thing ever. haha. but i managed to reach store on time. just maybee 5 minutes late. i had conversations with Abang Sam regarding the matter. ohh nooooo. i started to freak out.

whaaatever happens, i'd still believe you are innocent till your proven guilty.

Starbucks Sucks

2007-06-16T09:22:00.000-07:00

riiiiighht. i officially declare that Starbucks sucks. haha. and so the money went missing ( Lord knows who's hands it went to). i had to refresh my memory on letter writing to write a report. exact time and what was i doing at that specific time when Oreo when to the store room to check on the stocks. haha. experts came to solve the case. the part on someone came to store was heard. bottom line is i hate the management. i just ohhh soooo hate them.

butttttttt if they find out who is the culprit, 'm going to get my hands on him/her. i stayed up the entire thursday just to came down to store to write a report. annddd UHHHHH you bloooody waste my tme. whaaat an inbred!!

i have the intentions to switch jobs.

Happy Tahun Lahiir!

2007-06-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

ohhhh panjang umurnya panjang umurnya. laaa laaaaaaaaa ~
the simple birthday bashh was a BLAAAAST! from Fantastic 4 to sheeeshaa and to the many makan sessions. the number games got everyone excited. chilli sauce? YEWW. that was for pooor Yenny who had to slurp up the chilli sauce for 5 seconds. HELL YEAH. chocolate ice cream was smashed right on my cheeks. buttttt Hajar got a free powder rain from me. HAHAHAHA. sweeetest friends. honestly this is my first ever birthday basssh! how awesome!

kay and cam was a coincidence. andd what a smaallll world. they seemed to know each other. HOW COOOL IS THAT.
the little pictures represents how COOOOOOL the paarty was!! birthday wishes floood my inbox. and i got my first gift. shhh. not telling anyone what it is. la laaaaa laaaaaaaa~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

2007-05-28T07:44:00.000-07:00

may 28th comes by after another year and it's her birthday again. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. (Fid you finally have a partner that is of the same age as you) haha. someone special. her blessed name is Corina. (: beautiful yet intelligent girl. always speaking up for Islam in whatever situation. her smile and laughter during phone calls reminded me the days we were in the same class back then. she's a friend i'm proud to tell everyone. though a muslim convert, she loves being an alarm clock to text me on every prayer times. constantly remind me of the existence of God. well she's finally 23.

talking about 23. i am an official 1 year old driver with effect from 23rd May. the cooolness part of it is you're no longer a ku-ku. hehe

schoool modules have never been interesting and it got worst in third year. but always looking forward to attend the afternoon class cause waking up in the morning is the biggest dread of the century. that's the worst habit in my character. haha. it's just so difficult. but friends made schooool so much fun. i was reading yenny's blog. and i realised i had the same reason as her to attending school. FRIENDS. though maybe we are outcast by the other half of the class, we still rawks. rawk big time. maybe its time to move on. step by step. Insyallah. we'll succeed one day. one part of her words i disagree. true friends. i don't believe in having too many true friends. maybe just one? or two. that's my opinion and wish not to elaborate.

STARBUCKS. my third home.

when we were in KL. din i told you STARBUCKS A2 rock! i miss Linna!

2007-05-07T22:36:00.000-07:00

it has been 4 weeks since schoooooool starts and i've missed only 3 lessons. THAT IS A GREAT ACHIEVEMENT! terrific. and absolute MADNESSS. currently having case study module where the lecturer goes yapping away in the front of the room with many much technologies being used by to only a certain extend of modernity. if you know what i mean. money has been credited to my account but to only a pathetic amount. at least i could start spending since i am not going to Indonesia.

there were misunderstanding and gut feelings that leads to a conclusion. NO NO INDONESIA. not being a national or typical man that thinks of danger before fun. but maybe following your instincts would be great. i have no preference to airlines. i could take Garuda for all i care. i have no preference to many things. so long as i'd reach the land of Indonesia SAFE. that's what i care. oh well its alright dude, someother time when things gets better.

oh i have not yet uploaded the pictures to KL last April but i guess i'll load soon. hahaha. ahh shit lah this lecturer totally removed my thoughts to blog. i need some time off.

2007-04-17T22:11:00.000-07:00

the road-trip to Johor yesterday was a blast ! that came after a FANTASTIC short getaway to Kuala Lumpur before schooool starts. haha. the 45 minutes Singapore Airline flight was too far too short for a plane ride. but who cares. i got it free anyway. KLIA was not as amazing as i thought it was but it was much better than Singapore. at least we have the freedom of eating. HALAL food are sold almost in every shop. how cooooool is that?!
i shall update the pictures after Linna and Yayah and Kay send me those pictures we snap every step we took in the bustling city of KL. the file was almost complete transfer when suddenly my computer HANG!!!!!!!!! URGH~ that causes the delay of pictures.

schooool has never been fun. there were so many breaks in between but friends made me step in class every other day. haha.

it was just boredom that leads me to blog.
i have run dry of ideas.
im BORED. BORED. and BORED.

i want to buy a PS2. it's just RM499 !
woohoooo

2007-03-31T04:35:00.000-07:00

hi again. I am proud to announce that i have did what there is to be done . I did my exams . i did the supplementary exams . i did the Coffee Master Challenge . i got through the Coffee Presentation and finally receivd my black apron . i manage to work my targeted graveyard days . how coooool is that ?

i still have a couple more things up on my sleeves. but i let it to rest for this moment.

i came late for almost the entire shift i worked this week. i came at 530 once and 4.30 the other time. oh hell. i was really tired. i did things really slow. was even commented by the shift manager. yeah yeah i was exhausted. i just do not know why. things were getting hoo-haa for the trip to KL this coming month with a couple of us. urgh! why can't they just let us go?

la la la ~

2007-03-20T14:53:00.000-07:00

Febuary 16th to March 21st. that was how loooooong i did not bother to blog. exams were way over and results were released today. haha. i fair alright but worst than ever with the habit of skipping lectures and not attending lab sessions that were completely draggy and boring. time to change. for the better of course.

does anyone ever change for the worst? perhaps not.

Coffee Master. I passed the challenge that was plain dumb but was fruitful afterall. thanks to the many people who have guide me along. MADNESS. i still remember the night before the test they were shooting me with all sorts of questions that left me dumbstruck. haha. I'll sooon be wearing a black apron i guess. it's just an apron. no big deal. (:

Mosiac. amaazing. i fell in love with Jazz. instrumental. there was a local group of musicians. a cello. piano. guitar. and drums. a mixture of instruments that produced beautiful piece of melody. MADNESS. open category soon came after. kids. adults. one by one came up on stage to play a peice they prefer. that if you have the talent to play on them. and that part was super COOLNESS in Mosiac. Esplanade for once i thought was the wonderful place in Singapore. you seldom get to watch live musicians in the street. or by the river. or whatver it is. so that was MAD. simply MADNESS. haha.

and for the record. i have started to purchase and listen to beautiful pieces of music composed by well known musicians from the west. that goes really well with a cup of my favourite hot tea. (:

i miss a couple of my friends. it's funny why i miss someone whom i ever hate. haha. i miss the hang outs and the Alfiah prata sessions. blasting the sounds of radio in my car. but too bad. things can never be the same again. anyhow, i miss the hang outs with my best company of friends.

Lina + Zack + Elly = MADNESSS !! i think i had this mathematical formula before.
i miss you guys like crazy.

Fidude + Elly + Coffee = COOOLNESS !! i had not use this mathematical formula before but oh hell. coffee sessions at night and pouring all problems. you'll definately leave with a Tall or Grande of Starbucks Cup with relief.

i miss the hell of more others. Kendra + Sijia. Starbuckers.

work. work. work and work. thats what i have been doing so far.
lepak. lepak. lepak and more lepak sessions.

it's 6. i need some sleep.
thank you so much for reading.
i see you again?

2007-02-16T02:56:00.000-08:00

ohh how great! my precious notebook is with Si Jia for almost a week. i miss my notebook. it is more user friendly than the I-Mac i am using now. geez. haha. exams are drawing near. coffee master challenge is coming soon. coffee presentation is after those 2. i worked straight afternoon shift since tuesday. and graveyards this weekend. madness. i have to make time for my school so i took a week off next week. hahaha.

life has been so wonderful with many many new friends and hang out sessions.
looking forward for the many more.
let's have supper again.

2007-02-03T01:49:00.001-08:00

the last time i saw kendra was on new year's eve. and i saw her again yesterday. hahaha. this time in the void deck of a block in simei. hoow awesome. but it still cant beat 271. where the aunties in 7-11 recognise you and chat with you throughout your journey to get 2 bottles of green tea or mabe a pack cigarette. the toilets are near. i almost pee on my pants in simei. hahaha. thank God Vivo city's toilet are not close. i met Emy and Zack after Kendra and we had supper at Al-Amin. cheeeeeeese prata. maddness. hahaha. it was 430 when i got home.

graveyard again today. i cant wait to get my pay. im almost to super broke. haha. i desperately need to revamp my cupboard. haha. desperately. luckily i have a piece of $10 that i saved somewhere in a dictionary. hahaha. at least that could help me get by.

counting down to 7th Febuary: 4 DAYS

i just need to wait 4 days. hahaha.
i miss everyone in schoool except Has.
Has is history. loooking forward for a new present life which is superbly cooooool. and madness.

at least i don't hear KAKAK say this and i should listen to KAKAK and KAKAK said that. well hell to that KAKAK. all she does is bitch around and "advising" crap. all because she's from Polytechnic. HELLLOOOOOO? i think 1 million people have graduated from polytechnic. you are not alonee. i may not be as wise as you. at least i know myself better. don't judge me. u just know me by my name. (: only God have the right to judge me. so shut your blooody mouth and lead your own life.

what an asshole.

this is my blog. i write what i want as long as i do not break the laws. if you are unhappy with my thoughts. just a simple sentence. fuck off and rot in hell. that would be all.

May Allah Bless you.

2007-01-26T08:37:00.000-08:00

i had always wanted to shop but i was afraid to spend. hahaha. i have the money but i was afraid i would be left with zero. maybe 2bucks. haha. i spent 40bucks with the gila-s at Ikea Tampines. haha. it ws a minute of pressure. to turn left to zahid's home or right to Ikea.
"Uncle turn right to Ikea pleeease" i said. hahahaha. and yeah thanks to Ikea who robbed me 40bucks from my bank. but i looooove it. hahaha. my rooom is beautiful.

i spent a couple of other days with Zahid and Emy. and 2 days with Fid. haha. i like his jacket from Topman. yeah. TOPMAN. omg. the shop that none of us would visit. apparently this season is beautiful. hahaha. i like~ muji shoes are coming. hahaha. and i got a couple of tee from Fid. his unused tees. thanks to him who robbed me too.

im on spring clean mode. i'd love to clean my rooom now. i'll touch on networking. cause Has's been bugging Zahid on what is she suppose to do. hahahaha. i will email you on the topics that you should be working on. ok?! it won't be last minute. and u wont spent another night working on last minute project. don't worry lah. hahahaha

Has is on study mode. i hope you will succeed in whatever your dreams are. (: one of which i learnt. She's trying to prove to us that she could make it. it's a goood thing but u did it the wrong way. hahaha. and ohh hld on to your brain. you said it's going to burst. hold it. hahaha. and pleeease do not brag if you learn.

"where got i brag. he's just childish to think that way..." you will reply that? hahaha let me explain.

"meekness and modesty are two branches of Iman; and vain talking and embellishing are two branches of hypocrisy." Prophet Muhammad's saaying.

be modest.
humble.
low or inferior in station or quality.

we will all make it someday.............(not by copying)

2007-01-24T08:37:00.000-08:00

hooow coooooooool can it get?!

circle of friends are expanding. humongous. hahaha. i have another friend who have passed his Traffic Police Driving Test with 6 points. that is maaadness. haha. i knew you could drive Sallehin. it was the boys day out on a tuesday evening. we catch a movie. we met emy at the Coffee Bean. and it was fun. haha.

but the most cooooolest part of everything should be clearing the air. haha. okk yeah things were really bad between myself and Ruzaini. maybe you could blame on miscommunication. or maybe you could blame it on egos? or maybe it just that we dislike each other. hahaha. but hell. we're coool now. we're friends now. and that should be the way. no grduges. we said our piece on that tuesday itself. and i thank god for that moment.

on top of the cooooooolest part of this wee, it still suck to hear some news. haha. hooot news. reaaaal hoot. hahaha. things can never be the same again. i thought it was bad. but that news made it worst. hahaha. i have never thought you would stab me from my back. i really never thought you could ever do that. hahaha.

it was hell of a time in _____________________________ anyway....
fill it up for me. i bet you know where is it. hahaha. GEEZ.

2007-01-21T10:44:00.000-08:00

oh hell yeah. hahaha. geez. every sunday night means no sleep night for us. hahaha. it has been a couple of weeks since we last slept throughout the night. and be late for the first class of the day which is the bloooooooooody Database Management. hell. i'm at ruzaini's home after hajar's and zahid's. we had a little gathering one night in my home once before. that totally suck.

Cranberries Linger suddenly appeared to have a little meaning to it. i have thought that the song was Lullaby that would make us SLEEP. and SNORE. but it meant otherwise.

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn
Don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not that rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything

I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew

its for a friend. geez. maybe im too numb to the attitude. too used to the enviroment.

it never ends.............

2007-01-16T07:32:00.000-08:00

She said to me, "Go easy on me."
Won't you tell me what the 3 friends said?
When they came down for you,
Smoked nine till seven,
All the shit that you could find,
But they couldn't escape from you,
Couldn't be free of you,
and now they know there's no way out,
And they've really cool now for what they've done.
They were FRIENDS just trying to have some fun.

Really sorry now, they weren't to know.
They got caught up in your talent show,
With you pernickety little bastards in your fancy dress,
Who just judge each other and try to impress,

Look who's alone now,
It's not me, its not me.
Those three friends,
They've got a semi by the sea
Got to ask yourself the question, where are you now?
Got to ask yourself the question, where are you now?

HAHAHAHAHA. c-h-i-l-d-i-s-h. i think that word came about from someone who has a KIDDY mindset. and that's a whole load of SHIT. childish. aweeeeeeesome. i had a couple of friends who discuss about the Malay society. haha. i could not type in out in words or i'd be charged in court for racist statement though im Malay myself. ops!i should not have type that statement here. i'd never know if someone's gonna be like a fucking kiddy bastard covered with a mask on your head. "HEY TEACHER! HE COPIED DURING EXAMS!!!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Emy and Zahid, pleeeeeeeeeease help to remove the knife stab from my back.
Appreciated.

and hey you, don't play with knives. it's dangerous. didn't that person whom you praised to be ALL-MIGHTY taught you well enough not to play with knives?! Geez. learn more. that hurts. ouch

ohh. i hope this semester would end real sooooooooooooooooooooon. i can't wait to have that someone to fuck offfffffffffffffffffffff! HAHAHAHAHA. i swear to God All Mighty. ahh, only GOD can be praised ALL MIGHTY. you'll be awarded that honor from me. HAHAHAHA

warning:
Siapa makan chili, dialah yang rasa pedas. jaaaaangaaaaaaaaan terasaaaaaa.
i've known of 2 whom already thought i was refering to them. hehe.
one told me personally.
the other had a detour to a friend of mine.
cooooooooooolness.

2007-01-14T18:12:00.000-08:00

i solemnly declare schooooool sucks. my grades have just enough air to breathe to live for another semester. my lecturers are loooking for me for many reasons. im struggling in today's presentation. it was last minute. that minute could kill us or save us. thank God for that minute. haha. report is in the process. omg. its all getting haywire. im cooooooooooooooked. damn!

school started at 8 this morning. Three of us that includes Zahid and Hajar, came to school where the carparks were free from cars. the makcik at the malay canteen was especially nice to us. "Adikk, nak makan ape?" omg. that was the first polite sentence that ever came out from her mouth. she usually goes with " NAK APE?!?! CEPAT CEPAT!!" that loses ur bloooody hungry appitete to eat for the moment. but hell. its all because that stall is the solo halal stall in the huge canteen. whaaaaaaaaaat to do? makan sahaja lah.

everybody's changing. haha. zahid has grown into a blooooody sick man. emy's has became an all rounder. my fiingers would tire if i were to type everything out in alphabets. my fellow lysians are reminising about the past. the gooooood old days in schoooool. and we're all in the same boat because we're blooody lysians. we're taughtt to be how we are now. never forget your roooooots people. hahahaha.

friend.
A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.
friends are not shitheads that you cling on to and release it when you feel like it. hahaha

i have seen through you. and i am least bothered with your acts. maybe i should vote you for the PELAKON TERBAIK 2006/2007 in the upcoming REALITY AWARD SHOW that i soon would create in my imagination. you're very goooooooooooooood with PRETENDING of nothing's going on. and a superb reason to support your actions, i do not know. HAHAHA. that rock a thrillion for the award show. im sooo sure you would sooooon be awaarded with the noble award if God permits. just oneeeee fine day. when you have noone around. im sure u'll received that noble award i sent God to specially award it to youu. hahaha. Insyallaaaaaaah. i don't plan your fall. im in no position of doing that. i don't plan to be friends if u don't wish to. i have plenty of other friends. i just hate pretence.

pretenders deserved to die. they don't deserve to live in this world. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*ellyas is in evil mode*

thanks emy for the crap line that got blooody hoooooooooooooooooked to me .

2007-01-10T20:47:00.000-08:00

i just found something in someone just plain weird somedays. haha. pathetic is what i felt. that plays a major part in the character.

rude.
ill-mannered.
ill-bred. lacking in refinement or grace.
crude.
a couple more ridiculous attitude seems hard to type out in this blog.

whaaaat a shithead. talk to me. don't lie to me. don't look into my eyes. don't give me that fucking attitude. if u wish, just FUCK OFF! hahaha. FUCK OFF is what i think u should just do in events like this. hypocrisy is what i hate most. and i have doubts in your words and actions. please do not be selfish. you are not the only human that have feeeeelings. everyone else does too. haha. omg. i'm just lost of words to say. my toungues are tied. i know i've wasted my saliva and breathe talking to you.

WHATEVER is not an offence in Ruzaini's dictionary but it does mean WHAAAAAAAATEVER to me. so i just have to say WHAAAAAATEVER to the kid that is n the entry today.

i've given up on you. do what u wish. hohoho.
selamat tinggal.

2007-01-09T21:46:00.000-08:00

new tahun. new stories. new everything. and most importantly new azam. finally the azam is working a little on a couple of us. haha. we have not have a single missing attendance of any module since 2007. i would have print screen my Student Attendance System if i am at home. this computer is pentium 1. they need to upgrade this computer.

new place to sleep too. haha. we have found a very comfortable place for us to sleep in school while waiting for the next class. sometimes we have 2 or 3 hours break and the weather just forced us to sleep. and oh new stories. hot stories. i'm sure it would pop like a bloooooody popcorn if it were to publish in the newspapers.

hate.
the emotion of hate.
a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action.
Hypocrisy.
act of pretending to have beliefs, virtues and feelings that one does not truly possess.

siapa yang makan chili, dia lah yang rasa pedas! haha. i hate someone who has 2 faces. nice upfront. and fucked up behind. andd ohh ppleease!! hate for a childish reason is just sick. plain retard. that group of human beings are supposed to be classified among the Bizlink. hohoho! retards. childish but smart.

retard: someone bitch about me. but amazingly he bitch to my FRIEND. hohoho. how retard can that be.

childish: someone bitch like a kid. u know during our primary school days. "hey kita tak nak geng awak lah!" HAHAHAHA.

smart: it contradicts with retard. the good thing of bitching about me to my FRIEND is i'll know about it sooooooner or lateeer.

how sick! polytechnic students behaving like a primary school kid. power to the peeople! ((: that excludes kids. anyhow, i have recived my pay. it was so memuaskan lah. shooooooping !! it is time for me to grab new clothes. for the new year and new blooody foolish school friend and the cooolest friends in schooooool.

please do not bitch. or else you end up like the fucking taxi driver. that was hell. a hell brought to earth. i still want to continue with. OH FUCK YOU'RE FUCKING CHILDISH! i'll end here.

you bitch to the wrong person!

2006-12-12T06:41:00.000-08:00

it was emy's first day of work after such loooooong holiday. we have waited for her to finish work at Vivo City's Coffee Bean. hohoho.

me + has + zahid + emy = MADNESS !!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-11T18:02:00.000-08:00

red eyed insomaniac. 36 hours of living without sleep. the clock goes on ticking till 11.38pm. i jump on bed and close my eyes. eyes wide open when alarm clock burst out loud in the wees of the morning got me cruising down the highway to reach school. i could take a cab but i chose to drive. i am too tired to got up the many buses to school. it got me thinking about the cab fare. surcharge + fare = MADNESS !!!

last 2 nights together with 2 of my friends, Has and Zaini, we wandered around aimlessly at 4am in Downtown east. we had Macdonalds for breakfast. we took a million pictures that would say a thrillion words. www.rascalforever.blogspot.com he upload the pictures on his blog. and the day goes on with cab rides as usual and after school we end up at forum. then to airport to send someone off to Turkey. met irene in Coffee Bean Airport and met my partners in Starbucks. hohoho. it was awesome and madness yet boredom.

i'm having Rapid Application Design class right now. "you need the stream reader to read the entire contect. and of course we have to type the text box right? la la la is equal to the entire content. we use the stream reader DOT!!!!. so ... you move it to ur left hand size. ok? then you close your stream reader. CAN OR NOT??? straight forward right??!" HAHAHA. typical nyonya. la la la ~

2006-11-21T09:59:00.000-08:00

........but i still sing glory from my lowest, and i will say peace to the people i meet. while the world waits for an explosion, that instant of light that wipes the slate clean. i thought you were my kin but you're just another thing i have yet to fathom. sighh.

2006-11-20T23:08:00.000-08:00

the phitt-s reunite!!

boredom leads the phitt family to Bishan. everyone squeezed in a car. hohoho. i really mean everyone. how coool. ((:

see you phitts in schoool. azam baruu people. hohoho

2006-11-12T05:04:00.000-08:00

we are the victims to the impact of those words.

do you have something to tell me? i wonder when will this end. how sad. we used to be the amphit pham. but i realised we have start to judge among ourselves. i let you have the freedom of speech. at the end of the day we know who we really are.

2006-11-05T20:39:00.000-08:00

jeng jeng jeng

teruk teruk teruk. aiyah so teruk. but who cares. kita teman teman ada azam yang baru. woohooo. by the way. fuck this teacher who is teaching us Computer lesson. he is FUCKING IRRITATING. nag nag nag and nag over stupid things.

2006-11-04T12:15:00.000-08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA TEMAN TEMAN

these are my teman teman yang mesra di sekolah polytechnic Nanyang in my warm home. they insist on coming to my home. i put on my 3 years old raya clothes to welcome them.

noone was at home when i open my eyes today. sigh. how sad. no maid. no sisters. noone noone else. i end up editing my blogskin. wooohoooooooo ~

2006-10-19T23:52:00.000-07:00

schooool rock. after many months. im finally back in class. lecturers this semester rock. cause all of them just have a very bad teaching skills. they need to go back to NIE for more teaching skills classroom lesson. and oh this is such an honor to me.

how about that. 100% full attendance. HAHAHAHA.

2006-10-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

i have decided to blog after so long. for no particular reason. just feel that i need to escape. escape from all the reality of the real world. today officially marks day 26th day Muslims have been fasting in this holy month. it has been a looong 26 days but i felt as though it has only been 3 4 days of fasting? time flies.

i have settle down at work. i had supper with a couple of friends at simpang bedok. and had to cancel other supper dates with them for some reasons. i did not have much time to do shopping for myself either. its either school. or its either work. i'm beginning to hate this life. i need my menthol.

i lost a friend. a companion. and a partner in road crimes. i do not wish to go further. let's hope he recite the testimonial of faith before he took his last breathe.

2006-09-20T03:17:00.000-07:00

i had my usual coffee in Starbucks reminiscing the great time i had with this friend of mine as i watch the cars goes by me. it is just strange how someone can change and turn his/her back against you. haha. miscommunication was the cause of it. i know it is hard to see from such a different point of view but you can't clearly say you're ever in my shoes. i'm just another human with different perspective of the difference in nature. but i still count by twos. i still take compliments by saying only thank you. i learnt words are always too untrue till it oversaturate this feeling and try to be imbued. i try to blow up but my face just turns blue till it keeps on coming back as new. as if nothing in this world is ever overdue. the memories are still kept on playing like movie without sound. every malicious streetlight i drive pass i still ask what, but never who. hoping for cognition that i wish i ever knew.

Corina said i have sensitivity and appreciation for the finer and deeper things of life, the beauties of music, art, and literature. i value intellectual companionship, especially from those able to understand my deeper nature. at such times i can withdraw into a mood, and may not speak to others. (hopefully it has never been taken too personally?) aside from those points, i am a thoughtful, analytical person. i try to be conscientious and competent in all that i do. haha. i guess my friend only knows me to her own limitations. she even called me a kiddo.

hahahaha. thats a greatest joke of the century. i was already walking while you are struggling to crawl. that makes me a kiddo. along came a pious man who brainwashed her with "Islamic" and "the good kind" theories. my ears are never open to those theories. i'll only listen up to the man who stands in the mimbar and gives his sermons to many other muslims in the mosque. i do not like someone who sounds like a holy man. hehe.

"...Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand..."

Corina Grahams

i over-think everything. i think until "thinking" has finally reached that point where it becomes nothing more than a ridiculous (over-analyzed) thought. certain people enter our lives at the most peculiar times...for the most beautiful reasons, they seem to make such perfect impressions while leaving behind an everlasting impact.

some of the best things in life appear when you least expect them

2006-09-19T23:33:00.000-07:00

boisterous. absurdity. fun to Johor*

2006-09-17T08:53:00.000-07:00

Identity

The clock runs while the innocent are tormented in tales of suspense. We cheer for the hero who rises above the tragic flaws that make him human. The artist wears the costume of the hero fated to convey the frustration of existence during clandestine operations, battling the agents of misunderstanding and misstatement.

2006-08-22T03:03:00.000-07:00

whoooooooosh! it have been donkey weeks since i last blog haven't i? meninggal~

telephone cord disconnected + no phone line + no broadband = no computer

and i began rotting at home. it is officially the study break before the semester exams but it seems to me that i only have 1 paper instead of 3. HAHAHA. cause i have been mugging the module OOAD since nothing could help me to pass this module except the exam. tidak~

22.08.2006: my vios is gone. gone. gone by the winds. wtf. HAHAHA. i will miss my vios. SFX * * * * M. that car brought many many memories. from the minor samans to the major samans. but a brand new car will replace the vios. Nissan Latio Sports.
fast and furiooooooooooooooooooooos ~ HAHAHAHA. i don't need a majestic car. fairlady or whatever shit. a vehical that brings me to my destination would be just fine for me. auto transmission is much better. manual transmission car is cooool but i don't see the point in tiring yourself with thousands of traffic light in less than a mile away in your neighbourhood. clutch in!! clutch out!! change gear from 1 to 5. or just press accelerator pedal to move and brake to stop. which is better?

i'm waiting for friday.

the day i be driving my Nissan Latio Sports.

woohoooooo.

2006-07-20T20:07:00.000-07:00

i realised i have not been near heavens' door ever since i have got my driving license. if its not my parking offence, it's the ERP entry insufficient amount in my ever low valued cashcard. and now its the latest of all SAMAN. jeng jeng jeng. Dad's going to kill me. Mom's screaming her top of her lungs. Sisters are by my side. its just my luck.
the scary thing is i have to pay that large amount by August 15. or appear in High Court on August 30th or home arrest.

"Ellyas Rezzal, you are under arrest!!" HAHAHAHA. that sound coool.

not to mention farked up school shit. i have a blody farked up teacher for my design class. whoooo. im happy i written REAL bad comments about him in the Student Feedback Form. that should pay him a lesson.

im still waiting for that one final call.

*phone rings*

"Hi Ellyas, you can come down for an interview!"

wooohooooooooooooooo

2006-07-18T04:42:00.000-07:00

wheee. what a fun fun fun trip to Johor with many many crazy friends. hahaha.

main motive = top up oil.

second motive = eat eat eat.

third motive = supply of cigarettes.

yahoooooooooooooooooooooooo.

2006-07-11T05:49:00.000-07:00

wooooooooohoooooooooooooooo. i managed to "curi" these pictures from Diyana's blog. hahaha. its a little reunion for us.

2006-07-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

yeeeehaaaaaw. whaaat an awesome week with my poly friends. HAHAHA. we went to Aisyah's BBQ pit on Friday. I stayed at home and edit my blog on the Saturday. We met at 12am to watch soccer finals in my house with my brand new large plasma tv. wheee. had dinner at Mas Ayu with another group of friends all together in one table. drive around Pasir Ris Town at 5am in the morning. the chill of the morning breeze. awesome. head to CBD area at 7am. for a cup of coffee from Coffee Bean. the rain did not stop us from heading to JB with Zahid. for some reasons, i find it quite interesting for me to cross the border with Zahid. HAHAHA. don't ask me why. i just find it intresting. HAHA.

we head down to Coffee Bean in the CBD area again after returning from across the border. and had to pay a farking 3.60 for the parking fee. but we just park for 40mins. how expensive.

Has + Zahid + me = penniless.

and we gang up for some shit to earn some money. i had to return school for french class . french = fuckhead LAME. that's he's name. Monsieur(MR) Lame. he had PMS. banging everything his hands get hold of. maybe partly because the French Team lost in the finals. how sad. HAHAHA.

many many things happen after school till 11pm. woohooo. many many fun we had together. but now, i need to get back to school and study. study time.

us = zombie .

cheeers mate

2006-06-28T22:42:00.000-07:00

i swear to God, i regret not driving to school today. but shit that. there's still public transport anyways. but to make matters worst, i top up gas yesterday just for today. and i guess my badly sister is going to drive till it's half tank. hahaha. but i was late for school. and if i were to go to my carpark, it takes 10mins with the rate i walk. and 5mins to warm up the car. 3 mins to tear the coupon. 2mins to adjust the mirrors. 5mins to reach level 1. and 1 min to leave the carpark. and 6mins to reach TPE. do your maths. hahahhaa. and i only got 15mins to noon.

noon = test time.

but shit. badly armpits came at 12.20. for a moment, i regret. and school ends at 2.30 today. cause there's no semestral project and business class is only an hour. instead of 3hours. and she's yapping away .... disadvantages advtanges blah blah
"ellyas, you listening or not?" of course i am. im just typing but my ears are listening. hahahaha

i could not believe i drive all the way to school just to get SKL cigarette. hahaha. but im going to Bishan. so its along the way. hahaha. i intended to get DAD a shoe in Muji but sadly there isnt a size for him. soo another time ok Dad. hahaha.

test = diasater. i will barely get 15 marks out of 50. hahaha.

"We have placed in the ground (mountains) standing firm so that it does not shake with them." The Holy Quran Surah 16, verse 15

2006-06-27T05:34:00.000-07:00

i had a confession to make. i fell in love with a new weird taste cigarettes. SKL CHERRY. oh thanks to Kendra and Benji for introducing to me this weird cigarettes. haha. i witnessed an accident yesterday. but though it was not that bad, i hate that fugly sight. hahaha. and fuck french language class. it was the most boring module with only pathetic 6 students in the class and a teacher who teaches on the dot and ends on the dot. ni na ma.

and today i declare myself TIRED. tired to the max. but the malay peeps still played pool while waiting for a C programming class which we were so half hearted to go. making decisions while walking back to school. and we decide to come but an 1h late. hahaha. and the weird teacher thought we went to watch soccer and we go
"oh yeahh , how do you know sir ?" so here we are typing and typing c programming codes and learning a new subject, Inheritance. which i am badly clueless.

I NEED HELP !!

and i regret not driving to school today. i guess i get the cab to send me home.

selamat tinggal.

i thought kendra "kau kat ne?". and she's proud of speaking Malay language.

2006-06-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

mixed emotions

right now, i really don't know how i am feeling. "oohh its kakak's birthday, lets go and celebrate..and also your birthday" they said. when its my birthday noone even thought of that. maybe im too sensitive. and now i got my car keys snatched. THANKS. cause i got another ticket of ERP. but for fuck sake its just $8.50. and its all thanks to my sister who took the cashcards out of the car. and its MY fault. damn idiotic. thanks man. its always my fault. FARK IT lah !!!!!!!!!!

2006-06-13T06:53:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

wooohoooo! i'm a year older. and a step closer to God. haha. i finally got my license before i was 19. how great. i did not a bombastic and a blast for my birthday. instead i spent it at home with a movie marathon. its my only gift for my birthday. the video ez free discs on my birthday. thats all. hahaha. it was fun sitting around on my comfortable couch and be happy for my birthday. i had a wonderful birthday for my 18th with many many presents. but a solemn one on my 19th. hahahaha. maybe things change now. i had my own foood for that special day. i had my own birthday treat. thats waay fun.

2006-06-06T04:31:00.000-07:00

STRESS !!

whoooooooooooooooops. i cant believe im actually stressed out in the last week of Term 1 before the term break. and i should say its a bloooodly hell ofa holiday coming. tests tests tests even before the break and AFTER the break. projects submissions and reports after the break. and i just cant believe i sat for the many tests without studying. hahaha. thanks to the few friends who helped me with my tests and everything. HAAAAAAHAHA. DAMN! and right now im waiting fer my turn for a C programming presentation. which also i did not do. and we need to hand in a report. my french teacher suck. he's forever with his french councel shit. and the best part of all my attandance! i got to suffer with 8 weeks without skipping any classes. ohh noooooooooooooooooooooooo. and to makes matter really really bad. my badly friend's away to Australia. im all aloneeeeeeeeeee. soobs.

2006-05-30T02:17:00.000-07:00

Happy 1 Week Anniversary

23rd May 2006, Tuesday was the day i obtained my driving license. HAHAH. it has been a week since i was driving on the road with loads of great and bad experiences. we had a car ride for almost everyday with my ever cool friends. as far as night safari and as near as changi village just to catch a glimpse of the transexuals. they loooook very bad, trust me. HAHA.

i got my fine saman ticket. i got flashed by many other drivers who are themselves kayu and do not want to give in to me. so WHATEVER. HAHA. la la la la la~ i love the makis we had so far. HAHA. it was just fun. BUT i am pretty tired of driving already. it suck being the only driver with many non-drivers around. sooo, peoples life is in my hand. HAHAHA.

electronics class has never been interesting. that explains to why i am typing my entry at this moment. test test test ~

aku berazam untuk terus maju hadapan.

aku berazam untuk terus bertukar wajah.

aku berazam untuk kuatkan imamku.

ku tak perlu seribu sahabat.

2006-05-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

I PASSSSSSSSEEEEED !!

i pass ! i pass ! i pass ! i'm a qualified driver. and im driving on the roads. oh wheeeee

2006-05-17T22:55:00.000-07:00

WE had a bad day

it was the result of the worst planning for a trip of 5 friends. we drive. a weekend car that is. we got the off-peak hour coupon, thats a must. we were all set. cruising down the highway to the west. i still remember, exit to Tampines Ave 10, a man in white riding on a bike with plate ROV _ _A. we were asked to stop by the road shoulder.

"Hi maam, can i check your coupon please", that man asked. and we willingly hand it over. and he continued, " Sorry maam, your coupon is invalid." and that got us into a deep shit.

we rushed down to a Singapore Post office and continued the road trip with a very bad feeling. suprisingly, we were greated with open arms by everyone whom we met. it somehow made our day. and then day goes on. with many many shits that keeps happening.

unfamiliar roads hinders our journeys but it seems to be an excitement to us. all the illegal turnings. oh whee~ isnt it our dad's road. SEMUA BOLEH!! hehe. many times we were nearly killed. but we were saved by the angels. it was scary when a huge truck dashed pass you and the next minute, without giving a signal, that idiot dude, oh wait, its an apek, cut into our lane. and then its time for REVENGE. that was fun. but it scare our ass off. definately.

sum it up. yesterday was a very bad day.

2006-05-11T08:54:00.000-07:00

keeping my faith instill in me

i came across a blog of a friend of mine( actually, a friend of my classmate ) about a statement he type in his blog entry. "jangan sekali memutuskan doa, insyallah, Allah akan kabulkan" miraculously, that statement brought loads of sense to me. HAHA. i admit. i lost my faith along the way. i thought it was pointless to continue with my prayers with Him never answers. but i was truthfully wrong. very wrong. oh no..

2006-05-02T23:08:00.000-07:00

heart filled reaction to dissatisfaction

it has been close to a week since i felt the heart pain of dissatisfaction of failures. Alhamdulilah (praises to Allah) i finally manage to get over it. and i qoute a philosophy of life just for myself. "i deserve the best of everything.and i'm going to get it." that of course if Allah is willing to. hehe.

i had been on car rides since last week. spending the night outside with my friend driving around in my car and her's. had supper. and explore the night of singapore. and honestly, singapore is really a boring country with a dead nightlife i must say. hahaha. oops. is that a political-indulge statement where u can get arrested for saying that. hwahwahwa.

2006-04-28T06:14:00.000-07:00

Maybe He has His reasons to my misery

omg. pain, sadness and yet agony. that is what i am feeling right now. i guess anyone who failed their practical test three times in a row would feel the exact situation i felt. to make the matters worst, i got the same tester (he's not the nice, close two eyes tester) for both my second and third try. how sad. a friend of mine, who took the first practical lesson 4 months earlier than myself have got herself a license and im a friking passenger seating beside her, watching her drive. wow. hahaha. God must be really testing my faith.

people always say " try again, dont ever give up" yeah yeah and it goes on about the amount of money i have spent and not put it to waste blaaaah blaaaah blaaaah. anyone ever spare a thought about the matter God named it "feelings". feelings instilled in ur inner self since born. yes, feelings. tired. sick. of going to the driving centre just to practice for a test that i will not pass. aaaaahhhhhhhhh. i don't know. i just don't know. ):

berhenti berharap. yeahh. berhenti berharap tentang semua yang aku inginkan. kerana ia tidak akan terjadi. haha. it will never happen. unless He is willing. afterall, it is all destined. all i can do now is just laugh. and wear a fake smile and laughter hoping everything will be alright. .... ((: happy may day.

vote. vote. vote for ur goverment. haha. thats why i have been hearing from trucks of political parties campaigning for the upcoming election.

UNDILAH _ _ _ ! fill in the blanks

2006-03-26T09:09:00.000-08:00

i keep on living..

to keep from crying..

i keep on dreaming..

to keep from dying..

i keep on trying..

and im not going to stop.

2006-03-17T22:01:00.000-08:00

I am a firm believer in experiences, and learning from your mistakes and believe me, I have made my fair share of mistakes. Ive learned that life really is as hard as it seems, its just up to you whether or not your strong enough to cut it. Ive learned that your family and friends (close friends) will love and support you no matter what, its just up to you whether or not you let them. Ive learned that no matter how hard you try, you just can not overcome some obsticles alone, and sometimes you need to bite the bullet and just ask for help. Ive learned that true love is the most amazing, and horrible thing rolled into one, and it really can make or break you. I loved once, and will love again. Ive learned that honesty is a very hard quality to find, so when you find it dont let it go. I am so thankful for all the honest people in my life. Most importantly, Ive learned that no one is making it out of life alive so live it man, just fucking live... I have no patience or room in my life for fakes, jealously, or negativity, I have had enough of it already. Now, all I need and want is some good company, good laughs, and good fucking times...

2006-03-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

in times like these, you

remember the good ol days

what is just wrong with friends. one after another is putting up another life stage act soap opera for me to watch. from playing the dissappearing act scene moving on to giving excuses parts. some even had a role to play avoiding men scenes and cherish the mindset of "this is my life. i can do whatever i want". i wonder. if God is the director. then i'm the camera man and also the audience who catch my own movie with casts my fellow friends. in a movie i should name "the dissappointing friends"

synopsis

in this evil world we all live in, there came a boy with a small circle of friends. friends knew he was soft hearted. and a kind soul. and his friends started to show their true colors like a soap opera drama. one of the casts used to be a very close friend to the boy. chilling sessions over coffee at Starbucks and having our usual drink. smoke late night under the block in the cool breeze of the beautiful night scenary. and suddenly she dissappeared into thin air. she's uses almost perfect English language. but could not be compared with another cast. she plays the hide and seek game. and did not want to stop even after initiatives were made to stop the game. maybe Allah have the answers.

another cast came along. she was a school friend. she did not like playing hide and seek. but instead she likes to play "catch me if u can". she has her own theory in life. "this is my life. and i can do whatever i want". words and wisdom went through telephone cables to reach her. even through the latest technology of the computer chips. but she never noticed. it was almost reaching the death nerve-wreaking protocol to hear the same ol excuses when calls cant get true. it was just weird. and i repeat everyone was NOT born yesterday.

it was said once. in times like these i prefer to sit down over coffee and reminise the times we had fun together. i guess it will all be memories from now.

movie will out in cinemas: DO.OM.SDAY

2006-02-22T08:15:00.000-08:00

*sometimes close friends are your closest enemy*

once bitten twice shy. it was a week of misunderstandings and dissappointment. anger did not fill me even to the slightest 0.1% of my brain system. words cant describe the disappointment i faced. maybe i am just another friend to you. but to me, you're the greatest friend i ever had. i never believed in the cliche above ever in life. but somehow i understood the true meanings to it. i have yet to find a true friend. a friend who walks in when everyone else walks out.

Dear Lord,
People make mistakes. and we should forgive and forget. and make peace with our fellow friends. i have forgiven. and i have forgotten. but the friendship will never be the same. Please guide my friend to the right way in the misery she's facing. Blessed her with your mercy.

Amin.

2006-02-12T02:46:00.000-08:00

to that someone who saw me grow. who groom me to who and what i am today. for that special someone.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did

You fell so hard

I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side

So I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust

Not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

I lose my way

And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh

Every day of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side

So I don't get hurt

Because of you I find it hard to trust

Not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

I watched you die

I heard you cry

Every night in your sleep

I was so young

You should have known better than to lean on me

You never thought of anyone else

You just saw your pain

And now I cry In the middle of the night

For the same damn thing

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side

So I don't get hurt

Because of you

I tried my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you

I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you

I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty

Because of you

I am afraid

Because of you

2006-02-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

whee~ this week isnt a good week to start with. down with my other big obstacles of life. from being badly broke to actually waste 70 bucks on a stupid cab ride and for missing a badly driving lesson that cost me 50 for that. and that makes 20 a lousy cab fare. it was great having friends around you. knowing someone is there for you to share your pain and agony of that moment.

it has been great chilling out session with all my cool friends. and i met Emy AT LAST after a couple of weeks went totally MIA. but then. i really miss the days where all of us sat on one table and just laugh our night through. miss the friend i always hang out with in school. yeah we had a major misunderstanding over a card. yeah. a pathetic card cant compare the many years of friendship. you know others always see us a couple. teachers in school always thought we were out on a date kind of thing. pato. however u recite that. hehe. well i miss that friend.

however it is sad to hear from Nina about that friend who accuses me in write such statements in her blog. honestly speaking it wasnt me. i have not visited your blog ever since God knows when. i was down with too many other stuffs that i did not even had a chance to visit my fellow armpitts blogs. what more blogs outside the armpitt circle. it was really saddening to hear from her. but well some things need to be clarified before we move on. well may Alllah bless you. (:

exams comings. means holidays reaching. BANGKOK wait for me ! i'm flying over. just hold on BANGKOK. hehe

2006-01-28T09:03:00.000-08:00

I guess this is where I talk about me and my life. in this blog. Well, I've been having loads of fun for almost this eighteen and a half years. It hasn't been easy BUT, I have learned a lot in my short life and it has made me strong. I have met a lot of people in my time and most of them I still talk to. Although I have lost a few friends along the way, I realize that all of us grow in different ways and at different paces. Then again sometimes you have to put out the trash in order to move forward. I feel rich in life. I have a wonderful family now, true friends, a life that has true and beautiful meanings to it. the faith i embraced is what brings me today.

2006-01-26T18:10:00.002-08:00

i had a major problem with the computer at home and i ended up blogging in school in a stupid make up lesson for the Internet Computing module. damn. Fridays are suppose to start at 11am but was FORCED to come at 8am to attend to this badly lesson. stomach grumbling and mouth itching for a stick of sampoerna.

i had a movie marathon this week. from cheaper by a dozen to shallow ground and next memoirs of a geisha. all 3 shows were worth my money. let me get back to you later. its break time

2006-01-26T18:10:00.001-08:00

2006-01-14T02:40:00.000-08:00

ohh wheee ~ la la laaa ~ back to pen down my thoughts once again. hehe. went for a rideon the new SGB car with Fid's since his dad went away to do some voluntary work in some Islamic State. went for tea session instead of coffee at Forum's Coffee Bean. and an usual the service just suck. i've never been to any Coffee Bean with good service except for airport. hehe. yeah yeah. i know. HAHAHA. then head off to Bencoolen, the Indian shops surrounded by the NAFA schools to grab supper. and went to see the night life at Mohamed Sultan Road. why on earth must it be MOHAMED SULTAN ROAD. weird. hehe. got to bed close to 3.

it has been a long long time since i last blog. cause my computer aint working. been attacked by the stupid virus. and i can't be bothered to blog in school cause it was simply MAD to blog in school. hehe.

i love my family. i love my faith. i love my friends. but my some friends aint loving me. well they would just used me as usual. maybe i really am a dumb freak. but to think of it. i'm just plain dumb. haha. some of them just look for me when only they had trouble with their loved ones. and during that hard times, they would nevertheless put me in their good books and their love ones in the bad. i aint trying to be sissy here. but please don't use me. i just hate that feeling of being used. friends are always there. but your loved ones are only that for a certain time. i don't know how to put that into logic. but i got the logic. i'm sure you know who am i refering to. i have my limits to my patience. and i repeat. i don't like being used.

2006-01-03T06:41:00.000-08:00

God! Last updated post was on the 9th of December 2005 and geez, its already 2006. HAHAHA. its been a loooooong time since i last updated this blog and i'm back. kehekehe. i updated everything and i really mean everything. check them out dudes. WAHAHA.

the 9th/12 to 4th/01, it takes 25 days. and trust me. God knows how much things could happen or even had happened in these 25 days. a trip to Kl, the fellow lepak sessions with the fellow lepak-ing partners, driving practicals that ended up bad with some idiotic "auntie" kind of instructor. if i were to tell everything, i would go ooooooooon and ooooooooon and it never stops till dawn prayers. HAHAHA. i spent the eve of 2006 not in my hometown but in Kuala Lumpur. and the most best and funnest and hippiest part is I was there with my friends. how cool can that be. HAHAH. [i saw those eyes staring at me with jealously] but chill. we could go together one day. just phone me at my lowly credit prepaid card telephone. and in conjuction to the lowly prepaid card telephone, any kind soul out there care to just spent 10bucks to donate to increase the credit in my card. someone out there? anyone? how bout 3/4 of the bill? would that be ok? HAHAHAHA. kidding.

I have quit my job in Coffee Bean cause of some problems going on here and there. blah blah. i'm tired of repeating the story over and over again here. just ask me when you see me. and i'll TRY my best to tell you what happen. but best thing is NOT to ask. HAHAH. i got myself a Razor phone anyone in this 25 days. i took the greatest challenge and that was my fear to be hung upside down in the theme park. it scare my ass off. HAHAHAH.

school's term just started. and trust me. its fun to be back in school but NOT and NEVER fun to be in class at 8 AM. just not fun! i'm going back to the table to study for my Maths. it suck. MATHS SUCK.

whee la la la ~ may Allah bless you

2005-12-09T08:13:00.000-08:00

ohhh la laa ~ geez. i'm back after pretty some time. wahah. the heated arguement seems to quiet down. Thank Lord for that. much thanks. HAHA. cause i aint give no shit to this. it was a bad and lousy and not worth talking about. whee~ been lepak-ing with my coool friends. Nina Shaheera Amirah - Damn it was ages since i last met them. HAHA. and a more to my fellow beanies and hanging out every part of Singapore. Biting and geletek-ing each other. it was a great week. lepak wise that is.

school wise was pretty ok. i had been struggling with projects and i'm doing C++ alone. huge SIGH. i hope i can do it. actually today we were suppose to hang out at Johor's Dhanga Bay but just that some friend of mine actually overslept and did not make her passport. hehe. but instead we spent time in our country, lovely Singapore in a much and SUPER fun way. WAHAHA. splendid. (:

2005-12-02T01:36:00.000-08:00

*ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY*

2005-12-01T19:32:00.000-08:00

Friday comes in a blink of an eye. Wedding's over. Problem arise. this week was MAD. simply MADNESS. i bump into my friend in the school canteen yesterday. so much as i want to say hi, no words can come out of my mouth. simply because i just had no idea why. HAHAHAHA.

been sometime since i last saw Fid. he's busy working and managing his brother's wedding reception. went lepak-ing with my coffee bean friends and my fellow lepak partners. HAHAHAAA. went to coffee clubs one after another. coffee hopping i must say. from coffee bean to starbucks too coffee club. but Pacific Coffee is a NO NO. the coffee taste bad for me.

wheee ~ meeting Nina and gang laters.........

2005-11-30T05:59:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHA. ok maybe i need to grow up. maybe i was the one started this ugly argument. and the funniest part i should declare is "should i spent my money repaying someone who earns $200/mth or repay someone who gets $800 easily" HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. OMG. what do u exactly mean by that. raking up the past for a reason. not to mock. but to make you realised. still remember when i got my first salary, i got you and Amy both a pair of shoes. i wonder. when you got your first pay, have you spent a cent on me? i still remember again, you wanted to keep some money to watch movie with your partner and did not have money to eat. and who was the fool that fork out his money on you to get some food. never would i ask you back even if its a cent. the least i asked is to be felt appreciated. maybe thats too much to asked for.

comparing others from you, i treated all equally. maybe i am just too nice. maybe i am too kind. or dumb in some ways. many borrowed money from me. and each return back without me asking. sometimes even to my friends who cant afford, i gave them some cash should i meet them. and they returned my favour with a cup of drink or a pack of ciggerettes. i felt appreciated. (: but all these while instead of you realising your mistakes, you mock me with your entries in your blog. i need to grow up. i am like secondary school kid. HAHAHA. maybe i should. sigh. fuck what i said it dont mean shit now. fuck off friends.

2005-11-24T19:47:00.000-08:00

i never thought i would actually got into a heated argument with my good friend. but it was super madness. i have always regard and see her as my good friend but sometimes i feel i should speak up for myself. it all happen for a reason. over a money valued card.

someone showed me the 3 sins of a perfect crime. GREED. OVER CONFIDENT. and ARROGANCE . guess everything happen over greed. how could a card of value near 80 or 100 be gone in a few days. that is simply madness. and yet the best part is she forced me to go to my workplace just top up the card and grab free food. sometimes i wonder. what am i to you? you told me i am insincere. but i gues you abuse my sincerity. once you told me you got your pay from the job you got in the hotel. and told me about you buying for him this and that for a reason. cause he always buy for you things. in my nature, i would just keep quiet. its not me. its just not me to speak out my opinions. but have you ever wondered that i help you extra loads and i felt not appreciated. if i were to dig up the past, i cant remember how much money and time i have spent with you as my good friend. well everything happens for a reason i guess.

if you were to think i am rich, then i'm sorry. i am not rich. that is a fact. and i have never look down on anyone. cooler or richer. and never compare our friends with my coffee bean friends. that is a total different thing. and what you said in the msges you sent and accuse me about this and that, i hope you would think of your actions. just think my dear friend. of all the things you said to me in the msges, i don't think i am of that you think of me. from Secondary to our Poly lives, tell me an incident that i left you alone. just think. thank you. (:

2005-11-02T09:33:00.000-08:00

what a nuisance! phew. just irritates me big time. but to hell who cares. i have msg her that i will return her entire things back. and fuck off and die. i shall not be bothered with her anybody. not understanding friends are NOT my friend. out of the list. but i don't lack of friends anyway. i prefer my circle of friends around me. have fun and get dreams to reality. that is what i call fun. not like thinking and DREAMING big but with nothing that comes out of it. i shall laugh now. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. but then i had fun being friends with you. and i truly mean the friendship but since you put it that way "i'm pretending", then i shall see to what you said. apologies from me. in this Hari Raya. Peace be upon you. :)

morning of Hari Raya. Radio are blasting with Hari Raya songs and the takbir. preparations are being done. a last minute thingy. oh noo. i need to bathe to and change to my clothhes and off to sleep before doing my prayers in the morning.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

Maaf Zahir Batin.

2005-10-30T12:51:00.000-08:00

SHOPPING!! yes . and i really mean shopping. in and out expensive shops. with their bags as usual. did not leave a shop without their bag. whee~ oohh la la laaa~ bought my Hari Raya clothes in Island Shop, clothes and everything i need. i just need a few more then i guess i'll be done. hahah.

cant wait to work tmr~ la la la la laaaaa~~~~

2005-10-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. one who eats the chilli will feel the spicyness . directly translated from the malay proverb "saper makan cili akan rasa pedasnya". HAH . you know my mom used to tell me never to assume but ask. why do you always assume i work in the weekends. isnt this the holidays for poly students. and am i suppose to just rot at home without earning any cash at home. huh? i would greatly appreciate if you could think what you just said miss _________. thank you. and one more thing how do i eat my words. gosh. anyway just big THANK YOU for being such a goooood friend like you claim. i really appreciate that. and i don't think that arguing like this will solve the matter. i never know i actually had a friend who thought i wasn't one. that's bad. but. apolgoies.

shoooopppppiingggg. here i come........................

2005-10-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

screw people! God damn. you know sometimes it just suck to have this "digging up past" thing going on. like "oh i lend you something, means i'm nice. and you have to be nice to me and appreciate it" BIG bullSHIT. one advice. GROW UP. God. really testing my patience. being so impatient. like as if i'm delaying the meeting up to return the stuffs for no badly reason. should you not know. i'm working for God sake. almost everyday that i seldom had time to go shoopping for myself. and Hari Raya's around the corner and have yet to get one baju kurung for myself. the hell. screw you people.

but then WHATEVER. i'm happy with my present life. i had cool bunch of friends. the fellow lepaks in the day. to the fellow beannies. and to the fellow people who are in starbucks, starbuckers? HAHAH. been super fun hanging out and laughing our hearts out. mingle around is my kind of thing. i don't stick to just a particular person and would die without them. you know being super close to your partner. and everywhere and anywhere u go, he must be along. omg. we are teenage. like only 18. the period where we enjoy and when the number 2 comes along, then we start to settle down. right? TRUE. very TRUE. hahah.

sometimes these people aint just thinking. marriage wise? yeah. why not? even I can marry anyone. but without education. without job. who's going to feed you. and what are you going to put on ur dinner table? ahh. screw these people. they just . one line from Kak Khai. fuck off and die. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i have been chilling late and super late at night with fellow beanies. had cup of coffee at coffee outlets in Singapore like Coffee Bean Starbucks Coffee Club. i love coffee. prolly you could get me a caramel macchiato from Starbucks. a decaf and with and extra shot. or Coffee Bean's Cafe Mocha or Cafe Caramel and a single macchiato. oh yeah. i love Coffee Club macchiato. delicious. and the place is DOPE.

i miss going out to shooooop. call me. and we'll chill and go shoopping in town. $$ aint a matter. hahahahahaha

2005-10-11T01:18:00.000-07:00

wheeeeeeeee~laa laaa laaaaaaaa. week was madness. and super madness when results out. check this out.

results were out. and i PASSED. not a great madness pass but still passed! wahahah. i got super tired with work after working straight 4 afternoon shifts with super madness slam. what do you expect coming from Coffee Bean in Airport? the badly typical singaporean who thinks they pay 6bucks for a coffee and expect excellent service. but the fun part is i don need to be attached to Singapore Post. HURRAY. it sure going to be super boring should i go and work there.

nights were spent with the beannies. till Sahur. lepak under blocks. coffee shops. food courts. till early in the morning. and all we do is L A U G H. weirdo huh. happy fasting.

ellyas.

2005-10-04T10:31:00.000-07:00

whee la la la laaaa~ i did the first terawih with Firdaus at the Sultan Mosque. The mosque where my friend Corina always go. it was MADNESS. the call for prayers was super loud. i bet you can hear it even if you are at Golden Landmark. Thank Lord. we went for a little window shopping before doing the prayers. had dinner at Tong Seng. made plans for what to buy for Hari Raya. After which, we got a huge disappointment with service in Bugis Coffee Bean with that manager. hey dude or should i say lady. you are just a Manager in Training. what's the big deal. Malays. as usual.

last few nights went to have supper with the coffee beannies. with kak norsiah among the managers. went to lepak till late 4+ close to 5 and was SUPER sleepy. had a challenge in who finish the ciggerates fast. joke away. it was super fun.

i am tired now. i need some sleep for Sahur tommorrow. cereals and milk are ready. wait for me to eat you up Mr Waffles Crisps......

2005-10-03T07:08:00.000-07:00

last check on previous post dated 15th September. ok it has been 2 weeks since i last blog. wahah. spent a great time in 2 weeks of holidays with great friends. chilled after work with the coffee beanies at coffee shop and under void decks till super late in the mornning. went for a coffee trip in town. coffee bean to starbucks and try many other kind of coffees. oohh wheee la la la laaaa. coffee are great in town. hahah. went lepak-ing with my fellow lepak mates. caught 2 movies over at a budget movie theatre. PRINCESS. ok stop with the smile. it was not really a bad theatre. we catch the Red Shoe and the Corpse Bride. super fun. had junk as food today. and am soo eager to welcome the fasting month. and its time to dooo good deeds and STOP SMOKING for a while. hehe. and in a month's time.. "Sesuci ta ta ta ta.. sesuci ta ta ta ta ta.. secuci ta ta ta ta" .. Happy fasting fellow muslim friends. Let's all respect Ramadhan so everyone will respect you. Salam.

2005-09-15T05:31:00.000-07:00

* * * * * * my six digit pins. of my atm card. to check my pay at the bank. and got a pathetic pay credited to my bank. haha. oh wot the hell. but nvm. its better than just pathetic 2 bucks in them. haha. EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER! over! over and over! everything's over. HOLIDAYS are here! and oh God its the bestest part of the year. whee~

been hanging out most of the time with most of my friends. and caught red handed in Century Square coffee bean as they knew i was working in that company and using the free coupons. that just shocked me for a minute. but lucky me i was being honest. so nothing happen. whee~ last 2 nights were cracknig my brains with the business paper. thanks to Katsuki for the answers anyway. you know what i mean right bimbo. ok. i'm tired. i'm drinking Yakult now. want some? cheers.

2005-09-09T09:46:00.000-07:00

whee ~ it has been so long since i last blog. been VERY busy with my school work and projects. C++ presentation with that badly TAN SIEW LAN was BAD. first it got my morale down. and second she got this farked up attitude. the hell. Thank God so much that she aint going to teach us again next week. As usual, i have never been punctual for 8am classes. i can't help it. i cant wake up. my eyes are operated from 7am to 5am the next day. other time are close. thank you.

listening to we be burning song by Sean Paul. typing blog. following to the lyrics ONLY to kuay teow. got me? nvm. ok spent my day studying at home. for the exams next week. and after that. went to lepak with Has and Firdaus. under the block. in front of Hai Sing Catholic that is. Has was in a little confused moment. the story goes on till 10 till we hop onto Mitsubishi Lancer and off home. vroom ~

if there is something in this world i hate. that would be someone who call me names. to give me sarcastic remarks about myself. HAHA. sometimes. u should appreciate what God has set for you. instead of commenting on others. yeah. i'm soft hearted. but does that make an option for you to let out remarks. i'm born this way. and i thank God for creating me. maybe you should strengten your iman. for Lord forbids one to critise his creations. Bless you dude. WAHAHA.

ok i change my blog skin. i change my tag board. whee~ hopefully its cooool.

ellyas.

2005-08-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

one heavy burden is finally off my shoulder. the semestral project! Thanks to Fid and Corina for some reasons. WHEE ~ ok that is so much fun. my presentation went smooth except some hicups here and there. wahaha. That badly Jeffery class was extended to 3. and took a bus ride home. with Zahid and some others.

For some reason, I wanted to go home. and for some OTHER reason, i went to meet Nina and Shahirah at downtown east. wahaha. We sat at Macdonalds close to 7 and left later after that. Got myself chocked with cigs at least 10 sticks BUT all shared among 3. haha. i aint gonna die so early. I did my stupid report and end it off just like being grateful for those stuipd modules. DAMN~

I had a COMFORTable ride to school today. i don't know why we took the COMFORT. maybe I am just lazy to go to school. Poor Has. Alone in school. with problems arising in her life. sorry dude cant help much when it comes in relationship. all i can do is to lend a listening ear if you don't mind. solutions wise. i suck. but don't worry. We'll laugh as much as we are always doing everyday till we'll go bonkers. hopefully problems will be solved. for God is always listening to our cries.

remember always : Give thanks to Allah ....

2005-08-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

as the saying goes "it dosent pay to be kind". hahaha. i never believe in that cause its the way Islamic teachings are. someone prove me so wrong. hahahaha. a big sigh. maybe i should not lend a listening ear? maybe i should do this and that right? yeah. right. i am right. haha. LONG stroy which i dont wish to share. friends and relationship. it cant be denied your relationship comes first before friends. but sometime u got too carried away. hahaha. yeah. i dont want ever to listen to you guys cries. should you guys argue. should you guys get angry with each other. should you guys have a minsunderstanding. don come look for me. thanks much guys. i'm tired. i need to retire. friends oh friends. everyone is the same.

2005-08-21T09:41:00.000-07:00

left another 5 more:

2005-08-21T09:09:00.000-07:00

whee~~ today was photographic day. haha. first i spent half my day at home finishing up e-report and presentation for my semestral project. and the other half with Firdaus. He wants to have a feel of starbucks. [the hell] haha. so went out to town. had a root beer instead of our usual ice caramel macchiaato. a venti size as always. so took the train to Bugis. had dinner at Tong Seng. and walked to City Hall. planned to take the picture near the water fountain somewhere around Millinea Walk cause Fid wants to do some photoshop shit. end up the batt went flat. hahaha. went for a search for 7 11 and yeah it was a mile away to grab a batt. damn. but i enjoyed the temptation feeling of the dove chocolate. haha. ok. back to presentation shit. ARGH~ pictures: thanks to the batt we bought in 7 11. 7 11 and the store and more TING TONG.

2005-08-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

YAY. i spent a Saturday afternoon working. work was MADNESS. i got a message from a friend. i cant reply to the message cause of 2 reasons. one:i'm working and second:i have absolute 0$ in my prepaid card. ok. i'm meeting a friend tmr to return her the stuffs i borrowed. like out of a sudden. when i could not borrow her some cash. hahaha. i'm badly tired. tired of thinking too much. tired of having friends who step over my head. RICH. Some of my friend think i have loads of cash. but have it ever cross their mind. i don't come from a rich family. i'm SICK of having friends who always use my money as if i'm their bank. very sick. SIGH. friends. they're always a burden to me. maybe i'm too soft hearted and they took advantage of me. stepping over my head. big sigh..

ok work was super duper fun. MAJOR slam. and laughing away. HAHAHAHAHAHA. took a bus home with Aida and also laughing away in the bus. HAHAHAHA. Do you know some OLD AUNTIE who is trying to be a young lady asked us " Is the hot chocolate HOT? " HAHAHAHA. oh my god. that's the dumbest question of the century. HAHAHA. and instead of candles we said "do you need neddles ssir?" HAHAHAHHAHAHA. ok. that's funny. HAHAHA.

week 12 now reaching week 13. PROJECT TIME IS ALMOST UP. oh gosh. i'm stuck with so so many projects. Lord help me. or i'll fade away and die. HAAH. ok that's the lamest. well. loving everyone. looking forward for tmr.....

ellyas.

2005-08-17T00:57:00.000-07:00

i miss Maths lecture and ERP tutorial in the morning. and now im stuck in this pathetic lab with my lecturer half the time in the class. teaching us the stupid photoshop and the next with the secondary school kids the next lab. WAIT. nobody brought the Photoshop manual. so who cares. i have yet to buy anyway. wahahah.

ok yesterday was dope. skip BIS and went to town. wahaha. sat at Orchard Hotel starbucks. chill with a crazy dog beside us who i think like me. hahaha. always barking and running to me. wahaha. after which i was super tired. and thought i'd to take a nap. BUT Firdaus called to accompany him to search for a job. right. he got Starbucks. this is the super madness week. i got the most difficult test. C++ programming. i just hate this module. never like it since entered school. wahaha. projects coming my way. like a bullet train coming to me. i'm trying to run away. but could not make it. i'll die kene hit by the bullet train.

Declaration of Grades in ALL MODULES
MS Access : B
Computing Maths : D (gosh)
ERP : C (that was pure luck. studied 5hours before)
MS Excel : B

waahah. eh wait. check my poor art in photoshop.

2005-08-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

just one word to describe me right. i'm TOTALLY STRESS! no joke. its already week 12 now and in 2 weeks i got like SOOOO many projects to submit. DEAD. ok this Friday i have C++ test. and up to the chapter on Arrays. i'm totally lost. Lord help me. yeah. praying alone wont do much. but i'm really pleading to the Lord and Lord i need to wear my slip ons back. haha. that white or vans? oh. maybe Nautica. that's coming VERY soon. haha. oh no today is the 15th and i receieved my pathetic pay after working for 4 days i think. you know i really so hate coming to school on Monday. i've miss this class tiwce already and cant miss anymore. same as C++. oh no !!!!!!!! where is that badly jeffery ong? its almost 2 and I SO NEEED TO GO BACK. i'm dying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me! ):

ok during my PD presentation. i used Corina as an example to illustrate my goal in the social way. her life. her conversion to Islam after being a Christian. GOD. that was tough !!

2005-08-12T10:44:00.000-07:00

maths worksheets and some art. we did it out of boredom. HAS did.

2005-08-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

was super bored in lecture . it was maths lecture . with has .

2005-08-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i do wonder why the heck am i doing in this GOD forsaken land, SINGAPORE. GRR ! ok need not comment further about this.. do you realise that times flies soooo fast??..i remembered so vigidly Firdaus mentioning that we going to have a LOONG holiday? and yes..its over now..its coming to a weekend and im going off to work tommorrow for an afternoon shift..my Friday was great ! went to town..visited Firdaus from a job interview over at Esprit..and go for a coffee in Starbucks Coffee at Forum..Had the usual..Ice Caramel Machiaoto..sat for a few hours before heading to nowhere..and sat at MACDONALS and had Macnuggets meal..where we met a couple of friends..who have turned HANYUT! totally HANYUT! and shall not comment further on this again..Hopefully problems btw Corina and Firdaus will be solved cause i became their counsellor..haha..alrights my another activity for a Friday night! SUPPER !!!!!!!! *vroom vroom* i can hear my friend's downstairs and i'm busy blogging..right awayyyyy.............................................

2005-08-10T10:51:00.000-07:00

to bugis with Firdaus . Urawa FC vs Cascade.

2005-08-09T20:26:00.000-07:00

HOLY COW!! ok working yesterday was sooooooo MAD.. simply MAD..many customers totally piss my off..and for some reason i blew my top off..there was NOT really a slam..but the customers were REALLY pissing me off..HAHAHAHA...got another smoking partner at working..Shahrul and Fauzi..HAHAHA..i spent my NATIONAL DAY WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRR !!! can you believe it . i miss all those fireworks..march parades..singing..HAHAHA...God i'm lame..

Corina had a hell of her time yesterday..got scolded by a sluty customer.. BITCH HER FARKING FACE..you know i got this concept..ok class finish..

2005-08-08T10:56:00.000-07:00

basix theory

2005-08-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

these few days was very busy with school work...projects..and studying for term tests..and been a while since i last log in into the net..i found it weird myself..i'm afraid..pretrified..something's going wrong in me..praying hard to the Lord to cure this mad thing that is going on..i wonder why..why me..disappointment..am such a disappointed to everyone..and disappointed with once called friends..maybe sometimes friends should not exist..better to be a loner..sigh..to make it super worst..i failed my basic theory which i studied like totally madness..GOD..what's happening to my life..everythings going hay wire..the dude i trusted and shared my problems dun seem to be trusted afterall..promised not to tell any soul in this planet..but instead his girlfriend got to know..sigh..friends..making a cow of me are just their job..anyone just actually care for my presence in my life?everything just see me as a friend at the moment..and just a another friend..maybe i'm in search of my identity..maybe not..maybe someday we will just find out who are friends who help me in times in need..don't come talking to me about trust..cause i can't trust anybody..maybe the only one who can hear my cries is just the Lord AlMighty.

2005-08-01T22:53:00.000-07:00

there were mistakes .
but i'll try to forgive myself fer making em . will u ? i found a friend in you . besties dun sound good anymore , thank you fer always sharing your laughter . bringing sunshine after the rain . though it was just facial expressions . thank you fer being you

2005-08-01T22:31:00.000-07:00

how sad. someone struck with a question. "what is your defination of best friend?" it kept me pondering. i got my own definations to that. but do best friends come and go. like applying for a job. sign up application form and waiting to get employed? that's NOT my defination of best friend. forgiving is always been part of my me. but sometimes when it hurts me real bad. forgiving is not an issue. sad. i lost a bestest friend. whom we used to lepak. look for fashion trends. chill here and there. never argued. untill today.

i'm having a BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING lesson of photoshop right now. and it takes a badly3hours. and that badly firdaus telling me he's going to SLEEP and I HAVE TO ATTEND THIS STUPID BORING LESSON. oh man. but nvm. at least i gain knowledge. hahaha. i'm going to get my CASCADE already. VERY sooooooooooooon. watch out for me rocking those pair in Nanyang Poly. ok i swear i'm lame. ok back to photoshooooooooop.

Corina!!! thanks for the card.

2005-07-31T21:20:00.000-07:00

couldn't believe myself i woke up at 8 am after a straight 2 afternoon shift of working in a BUSY enviroment. busy bangat. hahaha. i'm soo tired. and now my stupid teacher is mumbling about fonts ? "against i will say its not an offence for you youngesters" the hell . "make my student clear ? " ???? am i going to school for Pasir Ris to the badly YUO CHU KANG for this class. hahahaha. "today we gonna talk about eposter" aaah finally !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-07-27T10:11:00.000-07:00

2005-07-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

shut ur eyes
think of raina tiny light
trough the tree besides u
no gold money at the end of these dazzling rainbow
smell the brezee besides the lake
ran with the discontents
then hold my hand ......
.i always waits for these moments to break

2005-07-27T08:46:00.000-07:00

test